Grief | Poems on General Topics

On a Road Trip Through the Rockies

May 10, 2018

Miles slide by
As every new twisting of the road
Presents new vistas on which to feast my soul.
The stunning beauty…
It hurts.

For a moment,
I reach panicked, grasping hands
For dreams and beauty not mine
To cling to.
I want to hang on for dear life
And never let go.

Fear flickers on the edges of my mind.
Life.
I want it.
So much.
I want to breathe;
I want to run,
The wind in my face,
My feet nimble and sure.

I want to scale each towering mountain.
I want to love a Colorado rancher
And ride with him into the golden sunset.
Instead, I sit,
Wistfully watching the vistas disappear
From the rearview mirror.
And I weep,
Weep at my losses.
So much loss.
So much emptiness.
So much pain.

Somedays,
I think it’s finally gone
That throbbing ache that pulsated
Beneath the laughter.
But it’s not.
The old soul inside of me
Aches with remembered pain.
My old soul never forgets,
Even as old, open wounds
Heal into bumpy scars.
Somedays,
My mind traces
The worn lines of old scars
As grief flickers.

Someday,
Old pain will throb no more,
Bumpy scars will heal into perfection,
And grief will no longer haunt my soul.
The pain will smooth out
Into that joy that comes in the morning.
Ah, Lord Jesus, come quickly!

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  1. You put in exact words my emotions this week. Watching Ed’s pain in this fight for cancer and seeing the end to so many of our dreams just hurts. I thought I was being strong with all this, but some days all I want to do is cry for what has been stolen.
    But like you, I come back to “Jesus, come quickly.”
    Gina

    1. Oh, Gina, my heart aches with yours. Cancer causes so much loss…I will simply pray to the One who sees our tears and holds us close.

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