Blog Posts | Learning God's Truth | Sexual Abuse | Sexuality

What If I’m Gay? Part 4

What did I learn? Even after I experienced healing from my same-sex attraction, I still struggled with how to view homosexuality. While I did believe that homosexual relationships were not God’s plan, much of the research I did while learning about homosexuality broke my heart. So many gays and lesbians have received ostracizing, virulent hatred, […]

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Blog Posts | Learning God's Truth | Sexual Abuse | Sexuality

What If I’m Gay? Part 3

I broke soul ties. It was 1 ½ years after that bombshell revelation of my attraction to women that the greatest change occurred for me. I attended a Land of Promise conference. The Land of Promise conferences—seminars hosted by the Strait Paths Foundation—focus primarily on deliverance from the devil and his spirits, generational iniquities, the […]

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Blog Posts | Sexual Abuse | Sexuality

What If I’m Gay? Part 2

I finally put it in God’s hands. I wrestled and prayed and cried and struggled. I was attracted to women. I wanted it to be okay. I understood both sides of the Christian arguments about homosexuality—those who say committed, homosexual relationships are okay and those who don’t—and I wasn’t sure what to think. Both sides […]

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Blog Posts | Sexual Abuse | Sexuality

What If I’m Gay? Part 1

This is part 1 in a four-part series that addresses homosexuality and my struggles with it. Some of you may have felt very uncomfortable the instant you read the title to this post. Why am I writing about such a controversial topic? Because someone needs to do it. It wasn’t until I acknowledged my own […]

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Blog Posts | Complex PTSD | Sexual Abuse

Letters to Me

Dear Ellen, Hello, it’s me, the little girl, talking to you. You are a big girl now, all grown up, but just for a little, I want to tell you what it was like for me. Back there, back then, I was so scared. I was afraid of what my brothers were doing to me. […]

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Blog Posts | Complex PTSD | Sexual Abuse

Hypervigilance

I walked into the Five Guys restaurant. Briefly, I surveyed the restaurant. They weren’t busy; most of the tables were empty. I approached the counter and gave my order. After filling my drink, I scanned the mostly empty room. Without conscious thought, I picked my table and slid into the chair while I waited for […]

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Blog Posts | Living Loved | Sexual Abuse

Bitterness Is a Choice

My cousin’s question surprised me. “How can you keep trusting God? Everything you’ve been through, why are you not bitter? How do you stay so positive?” I sat in silence, unsure what to say. To be honest, I’d never thought much about bitterness. I was too busy living my life. Later, I pondered her question. […]

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